Julia had everyone packing up, staying light in their rooms for the last night. The laundry at the motel was still functional and Julia spent the afternoon washing, drying and folding clothes. She wanted more than anything to be productive to keep her mind off Jayson fetching his ex-whore girlfriend and Julia's ex-best friend. Jess helped out with the laundry and as each load was completed, Jess took it to the right room. She reminded each person to start packing up before bed. They were heading out first thing in the morning. The girls busted into the house keeping room and gathered up all the towels and sheets and blankets. She had Rey and Alex load them into the truck, wheeling them around the building in the laundry baskets that the motel maids used.
Luz finished up cooking and started loading up the truck with all the utensils and clean dish wear. They'd scrubbed a bath tub really well and then did all their dishes in that tub of soapy water. Two washing and two drying. Luz had enlisted the eldest children to wash and dry and the youngest tossed everything into their utensil bin. Rey and Andy returned that to the truck.
"Julia, can we talk?" Luz asked, bringing Tatia and Alex back to her room.
"Absolutely. What's up? Everything ok?"
"A lot of us are confused. Why are we still here? Where did Jayson go? Where are we going tomorrow? When are we going to the cabin? There is a lot of rumor going around. And I think everyone has questions."
Julia thought a moment. "I know that we haven't had a decent meeting in a while. I know everyone must be feeling left out in the cold, literally."
"We want to know what's going on? We have new people also."
"I know, Luz. Gather everyone together in the joined rooms. I'll talk to everyone in there."
She nodded, "Now?"
"15 minutes sound good?"
Julia went to Tavin's room and banged on the door till someone answered. "What?" He yelled, answering the door with a blanket around his waist.
"I'm gathering everyone together in the joined rooms. I have to tell them what's going on. Luz came to me with concerns."
"Ok, when?"
"15 minutes." She answered. "You don't have to come, but I just wanted to let you know I was updating everyone."
Room 100 and 101 had every one crammed inside. People sitting on beds and the floor, standing in corners. Julia nervously looked over her notebook one final time because she had sat out the last few meetings. Not that Jay hadn't kept her informed, but there may have been questions she couldn't answer. Like exactly where they were going in the morning.
"Luz said y'all have questions. I'll do my best to answer them." Julia started. "I have been sitting out the meetings that have been held here. My intention from the beginning has been and always will be going to the cabin. You all know my reasons why. Some of us have been exploring other options for the time being. I do know we are leaving here in the morning and that we should be ready early."
"Where are we going?" Luz asked.
"I uh I don't know."
"Who does know?" One of the men asked.
"Uh- "
"Julia, we thought you were in charge of things. We always come to you-"
"I have been sitting out the meetings we have had here."
"You don't agree with them do you?" Jess asked.
"Where's Jayson been? We haven't seen him since last night. Is he alright?" Andy asked.
"Jay left this morning, he will be back. He should be back soon."
"You know as much as we know."
"That's nothing."
"The guys went out a couple days ago and have scouted the area. They found fuel, weapons and ammunition. They feel as though it would be best if we stayed around here till the electric fails. They have found a place for us temporarily. I was assured it is a secure place for each and everyone of us. It's a neighborhood with refrigerators that have food. I understand their side, we stay safe and warm and fed and secure till we can't anymore. We still have all winter ahead of us. They have our best interests at heart." She said. "I have no idea when we'll get to the cabin. It's not in my hands anymore."
"Who's hands then is it in? Why weren't we told it changed hands and why haven't we been updated? We don't have choices when it's not you. You let us have input and even though you tell us what to do, you always give us reasons and ask us for our suggestions." Daphne said.
"I've been out with them." Tom added. "But I am only told what we're doing when we get there. There's no plan anymore. It's up in the air."
"I am so sorry you guys feel that way. I promise from this moment on that I will be involved in every aspect of our planning and I will keep you all informed. Being that we're not all confined to the same quarters like we were in Maverick it's more difficult."
"I signed up for this because of you. You keep us together and keep us going."
"Well, thanks, but I'm not all that sure that-"
"We want things back the Way they were in Maverick. You cared. Just cause you don't agree doesn't mean you let them push you out. You're the one that brought us all in. You didn't even ask questions, but you brought us all in and you risked your life to bring us all in."
"Ok, ok. They care, too. They want what's best. But I'll fix this. I promise you that we will be OK."
"So all the hard work we put in has been for shit?" Chess asked angrily.
"What hard work? We haven't been involved in it." Luz argued. " I'm a cook with my helpers who are babysitters. I don't feel like I am part of this."
"Now is not the time to be arguing. Everyone here is part of this." Julia raised her voice. "I take full responsibility for the lack of information. Wherever we go from here has to have a space big enough for everyone to sit in and take part. I apologize for this. I was feeling the same way you are right now." She paused, looking at Chess. "So where are we going? You, Jay and Tavin found this place. Where is it?"
"What would be the advantages of being there as opposed to sticking with the plan?"
Chess took the floor and explained what they had found, its location, rooms and security, etc... Julia slipped out of the room and went to get their leader. Julia banged on the door till Tavin answered it.
"Get dressed, let's go. You need to be in there."
"Why? I thought you were handling it."
"They want the person in charge. Go deal with them." Julia gave him a fake salute and waited for him to get dressed. He stepped out of the room a minute later, pulling a shirt over his well sculpted chest and abs. A shiver went through her. Occasionally she thought back to the nights they spent together and seeing the chest and abs sent her brain there for a moment.
"What the fuck?"
"They're pissed. Go make them calm. Explain yourself and everything you guys have been doing. Good luck." Julia told him on the way down the walk to the rooms. Tavin ducked inside and took over for Chess who was being hammered by questions. Julia took Alex and Tatia and slipped out and down the walk back to her own room. Night was falling and she wanted the kids in bed and comfortable. She wanted to be in bed and comfortable. And where was Jay?
Tavin spent an hour reassuring and informing preventing the mutiny. He returned the book to Julia as she tucked the kids into bed with the kindle and a movie. The lights were low and Julia was ready for bed too. He knocked on the door and when she opened it, he placed her book back in her capable hands. He looked overwhelmed.
"You're back in charge of these misfits." Tavin grumbled. " I don't know how you manage to do it, keep everyone happy and please everyone with so little to give."
"Thanks." She smiled, taking that as a compliment. "I earned their trust, each one. I didn't ask for it and I didn't expect it without earning it first."
"I love you, Julia." He said.
"Wow, that was unexpected." She said surprised.
"No, not that way. You got so much respect in there. You're like this little fucking brave warrior. You have no fear. I love you for being that and putting yourself out there for us. I get what they mean. I mean it's what I feel to, but to have a room full of people say it and feel it so strongly. You are our leader like it or not. And I'm sorry if I treated you like you were anything other than that."
"Thanks, Tavin. Jesus. Can I get that in writing for the next time I piss people off?" She laughed.
"Is Jay back yet?"
"No, he's not. I'm starting to get worried."
" I can go look for him. I'll get Chess and we'll-"
"No. Jay's a big boy. He'll be ok. I believe that."
"Lemme know when he's back please."
It was hours before Jay returned. They spent a couple hours fighting their way West and then another couple hours hiding instead of dying. But they got back in one unbitten piece, covered in blood and brain and bits of flesh. Julia pulled on her coat when she saw headlights driving in. Tavin met her outside and they watched three people getting out of the car. "Who's the black dude?" Tavin asked.
"No clue." Julia answered.
Jay hustled to the office to get a room key while Julia and Tavin met up with Hayley and were introduced to Kevin. Julia and Tavin got the basics on Kevin, made the introductions. "Thanks for letting me stay with you guys." Kevin said.
"We'll talk in the morning, okay. There are some things we'll need to talk about and I wanna get to know you." Julia smiled. "We're riding out early so get some sleep. You two can ride with me and Jay."
Julia said nothing to Hayley.
Julia and Jay showed them to their room. "If you have any problems, let us know."
"Thanks so much for-" Hayley started.
"In the morning, please." Julia stopped her.
"Is she comfortable staying in there with Kevin?" Julia asked.
"Yes, he's a good guy." Jay replied, stripping off his clothes in the bathroom. He stepped into the shower, scrubbing death off him. He gave Julia Kevin's history despite knowing that she'd prefer to get that from him herself. He told her about the long trip back and their setbacks on the road to the Prius. "I'm fucking beat, babe."
"Still I'd prefer it if she were in with the girls. Or the kids. Her state of mind-"
"Her state of mind is good. She trusts this guy and so do I. I talked to her about him and he's been good, hasn't laid a hand on her and he's killed off a million zoms for her. I think she feels safe with him. So it's cool. For tonight anyway, right?"
"OK, whatever you say, Jay. I have been there is all." Julia changed the subject, telling him of the evening meeting in room 100/101. She filled him in on the details up until she left the room with the kids.
"We didn't push you out, you left. You even said we were right."
"Not right. I said you had a point. Not right."
"Right or wrong, it's done. They're happy now?"
"Tavin said they were." She laughed, watching him dry off and dress. He looked as beat as he felt.
Jay was up before dawn. A few weeks ago he would have gone running. Today was a different day. She whined at him to go back to sleep. He whined at her to wake up. Morning wood poking at her ass. He rolled her over, surprising her as he attempted to get her in the mood. His head burrowed between her legs, making her cum with his mouth before fucking her. Morning wood was the best, she thought, because she swore his dick was bigger first thing in the morning. He dragged her into the bathroom to wash up with him. They got another quick shower, making love again and the water woke her up. They dressed and were outside the motel room with her little book as the sun was just starting to rise.
They went over the day's schedule. How long it would take to get there, what the place looked like and she wished she'd gone there with one of them to check out the place. Jay said it was behind a fence and had a gate. She was thinking fenced in yard, but Jay disagreed. "When I say fence, I mean fence, Julia. It's 8 foot tall and the gate is too. You have to see it."
"I wish I had, Jay. These people are mad at me. I dropped the ball letting you guys do all this. From now on I need to be included in everything you do."
"Well, don't walk out because you disagree with us."
"Maybe you shouldn't dismiss me cause I'm a girl."
"Seriously."
"Seriously. It was you and Chess and Tavin. I wasn't even invited on these scouting trips. That can't happen anymore."
"Julia, we didn't know what we were walking into."
"We never do. I shouldn't be restricted because I have different anatomy from you."
"The only person putting restrictions on you is you."
"You all think we're weak and we need to be protected. Me and Cass and Callie can handle ourselves. Not all of us are-"
"Then act like it. Don't point your finger at me and the guys." He raised his voice. "But there are some places you shouldn't be and there are some things you just can't do. Like being in the middle of the street the other day and then the fence that you couldn't climb. There's reasons why you get left behind sometimes."
"But you helped me. I think that if you showed me how to scale a fence I could do it with practice."
"But you had no practice. You put yourself in the middle of it all and you could have got us hurt or worse." He said. "You deviated from the plan. Then you blame us for not including you in the plan. You made the plan and you weren't supposed to be there."
"You're mad at me."
"No, I'm not mad at you. I'm explaining it to you."
"You don't have to explain anything to me, Jayson."
"Are you about to get your period? Cause you're going all hormonal on me."
"Period. My period. Why is it whenever we get into an argument, it's because I'm hormonal? I am not hormonal."
"Fine. You're not hormonal and you're my fearless leader and I bow to you all knowing and always right girlfriend."
"Oh, now you're just mocking me." She accused him. She noticed the curtains moving in the room. "Oh, let my hormonal ass go take care of the kids, cause that's a girls thing too."
"I have spent many days taking care of them. Don't you even go there with me Julia."
"I am not your babysitter while you go out and save the world."
Julia walked around the vehicles with Jay and Tavin. They did a head count, made sure everyone was accounted for. Made sure everyone had their belongings. They wouldn't turn back for something left behind. When the signal came for everyone to get moving, the cars all started out of the lot following Tavin in the lead. The roads were barely passable in spots. Their destination was an hour West and the destruction and chaos they encountered in Maverick was nothing compared to what they drove past on their travels to the new shelter. Julia felt that they'd been driving through an area that had been hard hit by disease. Dead bodies littered the streets on all sides. Military and non military vehicles had been burned out. The road was black with soot and littered with car parts and parts of human beings. Did bombs go off here? She wondered. She saw animals picking at corpses and she saw death on foot as they passed through the roads that led them to their temporary shelter. Nervousness crept up and she was unsettled about this area. She felt like there were more dead than living and that put them at great risk. She wished she had gone with them when they were out planning this trip. Did they make the right decisions or would they put her and her people at great risk? Entire shopping centers had burned and a couple continued to smolder even after time had passed, which led her to believe this was recent destruction as opposed to original first night mayhem. She brought that up with Jayson as they rode by.
"You don't think there are other bands of people out here? Dangerous and armed? So far we've found peaceful people, Jay."
"Julia, not now." He cautioned.
"She's right, man." Kevin added. "Prisons emptied out. There's no law out here anymore. You got a lot of people to protect."
"Was that burned out the last time you were here?" Julia asked. "Someone burned it down. It's still burning in spots. Did you see anyone out here when you all were in the area? Or are there people just like us looking for shelter?"
"No one else was out here."
"Well someone or a lot of someones are now."
"The dead ones are easy to kill. The living not so much."Hayley said.
"We need to be able to communicate with Tavin as we drive. Was there any communications stuff in that military truck? Walkie talkies or-"
"Julia, please." Jay said. "Julia, I have never done this before. I have no experience with any of this. We go with our gut instinct. I haven't been trained to do anything that I have done in the last couple weeks and neither have you. So just back off."
"Oh, Lord. Fine. Later then. This is a conversation we need to have. Just get us there in one piece." Julia gave up. "I'm not trying to piss you off, but we might have to kill someone that's not infected to protect what is ours. Are you prepared to do that?"
"Yes, I am."
They wound their caravan of vehicles off the turnpike and into a suburban area littered with trees and huge old homes. Their temporary home stood a couple hundred yards off the main road secluded by trees. There was a fence as Chess had described, 8 foot tall and surrounding the property. Made of steel and there were no breeches, they'd surveyed the entire perimeter and it was intact. There was a heavily wooded area in front of the home and the back of the home extended down a hill to a creek. There was plenty of space in the interior back yard, grass covered and well landscaped lawn that had a smaller fence built around a garden area and there also stood a kids' play set with swings and a slide. A metal merry-go-round. A tool/lawn shed was in the back yard at the base of the hill by the creek. Whoever had lived here took care of their home and their land.
The house itself was an old Victorian style home with 4 levels. The appliances were far from new, but they were functional. There was a dining room and living room and kitchen on the first floor inside an open floor plan. There was a winding stair case from the kitchen to the upper floors as well as a main stair case that climbed to the upper levels from the living room. The upper levels contained multiple rooms, space for just about everyone and then an attic dwelling that was finished about 3 decades previous and held ample space for every child they had with them. The more time Julia spent exploring, the more she loved the house. Under normal circumstances, in a different time and a different world, she would have loved living in a home like this with all the land surrounding it.
Everyone came inside after they took a walk through and made sure no one had come in and set up shop or shelter. They went through every crevice and closet. Julia looked over each room and its contents and started tagging rooms with names. They had to cram 20 plus people onto 5 bedrooms and an attic chamber. Before they started moving in, Julia first needed to determine how long they'd be staying.
As everyone filed into the expanse of the open first floor, Julia instructed everyone to stay put. She waited for everyone to stand or sit as they pleased and quiet down. She stood in the kitchen by the fridge and called every one's attention.
"Ok, guys. I know every one is excited and wants to see the whole house. It's pretty big. The guys have made a good choice for us. For today we're going to just stick with bringing in our packs. We'll unload some food and then we'll have a late lunch/early dinner. We'll have a group meeting at meal time like we did on Green Street." The group appeared satisfied with that. "There are 5 bedrooms and a huge attic. Children in the attic. For those of you that read the book, I assure you there will be no poison cookies. I have tagged the rest of the rooms. Go look around, think about how the arrangements will work. If you all wanna switch up or deviate from this, then work it out on your own. There will be no private rooms and no special preferences. Audrey, can I see you please before you head up?"
"Hi, Julia." Audrey said, her girls close to her side.
"You're new to us. I haven't spent a lot of time with you and Leah and Madison. I usually keep all the kids together in one area. They are a priority, they need to be protected. I put Leah and Madison in with them in the attic. You, I put in with other people in the group. If you guys would like to stay together, I can't be moving rooms around, but you're welcome to move up to the attic. As their mom that's entirely up to you. So go up and check it out and let me know at the meal what you'd like. Also as newbies, have a list of things you'll need and suggestions are important."
"Uh, Ok. I just want my girls safe."
"So do I. That's the most important thing. They're never alone and they always have eyes on them. I count on the older kids for that, but we're all a part of keeping them safe."
Julia went outside and walked the entire perimeter with her book. She looked through the fence in all areas and there wasn't a neighbor in sight, all woods. She tried to squeeze through the fence, which was sturdy steel, and she was unsuccessful. She looked closely and wondered if a toddler could. The dead could definitely reach through and grab someone, she thought, but at the cabin there was no fence and any dead being could wander through there. Julia made her way to the stream, sat on a rock that was at the water edge.
She had so many doubts. How was she supposed to be a leader? She had no experience as anything other than a high school student, a baby sitter and a part time employee at a Christian store in Maverick Square. She had more questions than answers and no resources to get any of the information she needed. How were they supposed to survive a winter anywhere let alone a cabin in the woods? It has to be harder than she thought it would be. Despite the shelter and being able to keep everyone warm inside that shelter, how would they fare in a couple months. When the food sources truly ran out and all their supplies had been gone through and all they were left with was empty cans. They'd been blasted back into the 18th century with all the luxuries in life swept out from under them, no market on every corner, no convenience store or any conveniences in life.
"I'm not a pioneer." She whispered. How did they do it? How did the people who lived back then survive? She needed to study that and come up with some workable ideas. Julia pulled herself up and walked back to the house full of people that waited for her to tell them what their next move would be. She passed the garden that was fenced in, lumpy earth that was covered with black cloth waiting for the spring to be planted. She stepped inside the garden and pulled up part of the black cloth, then gasped and jumped back as she nearly fell over from the shock of what she saw. There lay two people in a shallow garden grave. She peeled back the rest of the black cloth, five total. A teenager, a male and female who were probably his parents and then the elderly couple who were probably that kid's grandparents. She kicked some of the dirt off their faces. Bullet holes. One bullet hole through each forehead. Julia looked at the house. Which one of them did this? Or did they all do this? Julia replaced the black cloth over their bodies.
Julia went into the house and asked around where Jay was. She was told he was out front of the house with Tavin and Chess. She stepped out the front door onto the landing and looked down at the three of them.
"I was in the garden." Julia mentioned. The three stared at her, waiting for one to break the silence as she scanned their faces. "Did you do that to those people?"
"Not all of them, no." Jay answered first. Tavin motioned to him to stop.
"What happened here?" She yelled.
"Red, it was a bad day." Tavin said.
"Not good enough." She pressed him. She reached for and pulled Jay's gun out of his waist band. She had it pointed at them and backed away before Jay even reacted.
"What did you do?" She screamed, shaking as the gun pointed at Tavin's head.
"Julia put the fucking gun down." Chess yelled.
"Red, put it down." Tavin urged.
"What. Did. You. Do?" She asked again, pointing the weapon at Jay.
"We were on foot and scouting a place. There was a wave of walkers that just came outta those woods. Out of no where." Jay answered.
"We just wanted inside the fence till they passed." Chess tried to explain further.
"We told the old man that. He was pointing a rifle at us and told us to get off his property. Tav started to climb over and the old man aimed at him, so I shot him. In the head." Jay added.
"Then they followed me over. Just in time. We didn't even move from the fence. We planned on jumping back out and leaving once they passed."
"Then the woman comes outside freaking out. She just starts screaming and freaking out. And then the rest of them come out. We couldn't go anywhere and we're stuck on this side of the fence with them freaking out and them on the outside."
"It was a true test of the fence for sure. We are definitely safe in here." Chess noted.
"So, then what happened? How did you go from murdering the man to murdering the whole family?"
"The other man went for the rifle. The woman and her son started hitting and kicking and fighting with us so the man could get to the rifle. The whole time the man's wife is screaming and crying and we just panicked, thinking that the man is going to kill all three of us. So-"
"We did what we had to do. That's all."
"So you kill the men and the rest of them? You shot the kid and the women who were unarmed?" Julia mumbled. "You had no alternative?"
"I made the decision to kill them men. It was kill them or be killed by them." Jay said.
"And the women? The kid? He was our age? What did you think they were going to do to you?"
"They calmed down. I told them all we wanted to do was get away from the group that was surrounding us. So I offered to bury them and that's how they got to the garden."
"We put the men in first, buried them the best we could. The ground is hard and it's not easy to dig a fucking grave in December."
"Instead of leaving you decided to kill the rest of them and plant them all in together in the garden?"
"Basically, yeah. That was me. I did that." Tavin nodded. "Red, we need what they have. End of story."
Julia pointed the gun at Tavin. "That's not...right. We did not need what they have. We have a plan, a workable plan."
She lowered the gun and handed it back to Jay.
"For Christ sake, get rid of those fucking bodies before the rest of these people stumble over them. And you moved us into their fucking house."
"What were we supposed to do?"
"This is not how we operate!" She screamed. "Just because the world as we know it is gone, you still have to have some kind of humanity, some ideals to live by, a sense of right and fucking wrong. I'm ashamed of all of you."
The brothers wrapped up the bodies in tarps found in the shed, then loaded them into the back of the army vehicle. Tavin and Jay drove the truck away from the house and had a bleak conversation on where to put them. Jay and Tavin thought there was nothing wrong with leaving the bodies on their land and cordoning off the garden as off limits. They were both pissed, but trudged onward to the turnpike and left the tarps wrapped neatly on the side of the road with the abandoned cars and the dead. Jay should have known better. Julia finds out everything. They tried to throw around ideas on how that could have gone down differently. Maybe if they'd tossed over their weapons to the old man as a show of good faith? If they'd had more time to talk or maybe they should have run somewhere else and risked death? Should they have left the women and the kid alive? It's not like they'd be left with anything other than a bad memory. They certainly would not have come after them at any point in the future. They would have faced no judge, no jury of their peers.
"Do you think she'll tell the rest of the group?" Tavin asked.
"No, I think she's mad that we didn't tell her. She doesn't like finding things out." Jay said, shifting in his seat, watching the road pass on the way back to the house. "I do think that if it wasn't us that did that she would throw us out of the group."
"Do you think she would have shot me? She had this crazy look in her eyes when she was pointing that gun at me."
"Maybe in the arm, but not in the head."
"How did Red take top spot running this show? Why would you let her?"
"You know her. She was gonna do what she wanted. I wasn't letting her do it alone with Andy. She just kinda fell into the spot, took to it. Then we added more people and whenever anyone had questions, they went to her. When everyone just stood around looking at each other wondering what we were gonna do, she just told us. We followed her."
"Just like that?"
"Yeah, just like that. She hasn't steered us wrong yet."
Tavin pulled up the long driveway and parked the camouflage vehicle in front of the door.
"Yet." Tavin said.
"You don't think she can do it?" Jay asked.
"I think she's good with these people. She can kill the dead easy, but can she do the stuff that needs to be done? Win a fight? Start a fight? Can she give us muscle when we need it? Can she make the hard decisions?"
"The president didn't serve in the military, but he has people that advise him and do the fighting. I think she can. She's good at organizing and making people feel taken care of and safe. That's half the battle. Right?" Jay paused. "Or are you mad it's not you? Or are you mad she's a girl?"
"Is she strong enough?"
"She broke my nose." Jay pointed out. "Twice."
"You let her push you around. What's going to happen when she meets someone she can't push around? Or someone that pushes back?"
"We'll find out. And she's got back up." Jay told him. "She pulled a gun on us. And she actually loves us. What would she do if she pulled a gun on someone that threatened her or she didn't like?"
"We need to show her how to shoot that gun then."
The smell of homemade food filled the house. The odor drew people from all corners and all rooms. Julia and Tatia played on the living room floor till they had fallen asleep. As the downstairs started filling up, someone covered the girls with a blanket. When she awoke it was after the lunch was ready and they'd started with out her and Tatia. Luz opted to leave them sleep, figuring Julia may want to be awake through the night. She hadn't done a night shift since Green Street and she may want to do some planning in peace without a million questions or suggestions or complaints. She lay awake listening to the people in the kitchen and dining room as they ate around crowded tables. She cuddled up with her sleeping girl, absorbing her warmth and wrapping the blanket a little tighter around them. They all seemed pleased with the homey feel of the place, though drafty as most old homes were. They needed their mattresses and their linens and blankets from the truck. Some towels, too, for showers. She heard Tavin agree to open the truck and the men would start moving mattresses. He took volunteers for the linens and towels and dividing them up. Chess had the notebook and penned the ideas and the suggestions and the cast of characters that would pull it off. They would start right after the meal was done as their daylight already had started to dwindle. Luz said soup was on the menu for dinner and that would include any and all of the leftovers from their large meal. As anyone grew hungry later, help yourself.
Every time Julia woke up, she hoped to God she'd be waking from a dream and she'd have her original life back. A comfortable room and everything she needed or wanted at her fingertips. No fears. No worries. No doubts.
When Tatia roused from slumber, she officially got up. She toileted Tatia and she sat her at the table with food that she picked at. Julia had very little to eat as she lacked any appetite after the morning she had in the yard.
She was left to herself at the table with the baby. Several people gradually sat down around the table and watched her with Tatia. Leah asked if Tatia was her daughter. "No, she's Jay's sister."
"You and Jay, are you two together?" She asked shyly, blushing.
"Why?" Julia muttered.
"Cause if he's not seeing anyone, then I thought..."
"How old are you, Leah?" Julia asked, cutting her off.
"Oh, 13."
"There's no boy here young enough for you." Julia told her. "This isn't summer camp and you need to find something else to do other than look for a hook up."
"I told you." Madison mumbled.
"Listen to your sister." Julia advised her. "Go on, get outta here. Think about what you're gonna tell your mother."
The 2 girls slinked away from the table and at least one of them was worried Julia was going to rat her out to mom.
Jay sat beside Julia after the last mattress was carried inside. "You have an admirer."
"I know."
"You slept through our meeting."
"I know. I'm staying up late."
"I'll stay up with you. Or sleep next to you while you stay up late." He offered, putting his feet up on the chair across from him and then held her hand. Julia stayed quiet, playing with her food with her free hand. She watched Tatia get up and toddle back to the living room to the toys Julia had placed there. He sensed she wasn't the slightest bit pleased with him. "Julia, I'm trying here."
"Trying to do what?"
"Fuck you." Jay left her hand go and got up from his chair.
"Leaving already? I see how hard you're trying."
"You're being a bitch." He remarked. "I bet Leah would be more receptive."
"There's that moral character of yours. It strikes again." Julia mumbled.
"You don't appreciate any fucking thing anyone fucking does."
"That's a lie. You're grabbing at straws now. You're cussing at me and insulting me. Is that what you've come to, Jay? You can't think of anything else?"
He started to walk away from her.
"You're going to walk away like you always do?"
"Do you understand that if I don't walk away I will hit you." Jay asked calmly. "You are condescending, Julia. "
"You feel threatened by me. Do you wanna do it? When you do it you all turn into fucking savages, monsters as bad the ones walking around outside that fence. Or worse."
"Who are you to judge us? Why do you look at us like we're guilty of anything other than making a decision?" He yelled at her. "You weren't here to make it for us? Is that what your pissed off about?"
"I'm pissed off because you three geniuses killed three people that didn't have to die. We don't kill people. Not without good fucking reason. And you had no good fucking reason."
"Don't fucking do that, Julia. Fuck."
"Do what?"
"There are no rules, Julia. Not anymore. And some things are not your business. You sent us out there and then get high n mighty when-"
"No more rules? Did you just say there are no more rules?"
"Yes, I did. Don't be petty. It's over. It's done."
"Did you lose your conscience when you put bullets in them?"
"Why do you care? You had nothing to do with it." Jay told her. "You have to live with the decisions we make when we go out there. It might not be what you want to go down, but you have to side with us."
"Think about it from their side. What if that happened with us here?"
"You don't like what we do, then don't send us out anymore."
"This makes me angry, Jay."
"It makes me angry too. He should have helped us instead of turning us away. But it didn't play out like that." Jay said. "Look, when we get back we want someone who will understand us and not persecute us."
"Someone who won't question you? Who polices the police, Jay? There has to be a moral code to live by or we fail ourselves. At the very least, knowing the difference between right and wrong."
"It's not that simple, Julia. It's just not that simple."
"Why can't it be that simple?"
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